Monday, March 28, 2011

Lost in Translation... EL Casting/ THE Casting


Esta semana comencé mis clases de actuación y lo primero que nos enseñaron es la importancia de la primera impresión que causes ante un director de ‘casting’. Ayer tuve una audición en la cual tenía que ir vestida con una camisilla sencilla, pantalones cortos y botas. Puse en práctica mi nuevo conocimiento.

“CLACK CLACK CLACK” sonaban mis botas contra las losas de mármol mientras caminaba inocentemente hacia la lista para anotarse. El alboroto de mis botas rompió con el silencio y causó que las modelos que esperaban sentadas se viraran a mirarme. Por un segundo me quede inmóvil ante la incomodidad de tener un salón lleno de modelos que me quemaban con sus miradas. Sonreí como disculpándome y caminé en mis puntillas hacia un asiento vacío. “¡Mariana Vicente!” grito la asistente dejándome saber que era mi turno. Me levanté y nuevamente todas me siguieron con la vista hasta entrar al cuarto de audición donde me esperaban sentados con caras de aborrecidos el director del proyecto, la directora de casting y la productora. Ahí me dieron una breve y apresurada explicación en inglés de lo que tenía que hacer. Fácil. Caminar desde la esquina del cuarto hasta una silla, sentarme y subir las piernas en una mesa; entonces la directora de casting añade a la explicación: “…but be careful when you put your legs up, we don’t want to see your crotch.” Osea, que tenga cuidado que cuando suba las piernas no se me vaya a ver la “cuestión”. Aparentemente ya le había sucedido a varias modelos anteriores a mí porque todas teníamos pantalones cortos. 

En mi mente pensé que no iba a ser problema pues mis pantalones estaban bien ajustados pero desafortunadamente no verbalicé bien mis pensamientos y lo que salio de mi boca fue: “Don’t worry, its very tight” mientras me señalaba la entrepiernas. BOOM. Una explosión de carcajadas. Frustrada ante el hecho de que no podía tomar crédito por el “chiste” que acababa de hacer (pues ni sabia cual era), le di pausa a mis alrededores como en la película “The Adjustment Bureau” y me puse a analizar cuidadosamente lo que había sucedido. Ok, ella me dijo “…we don’t want to see your crotch” y yo le contesté que no se preocupara porque mis pantalones son bien estrechos.  Bueno, no necesariamente mencione la palabra “pantalones” pero le dije “Don’t worry, its very tight” mientras me señalaba entre… las… piernas… Osea, que en un proceso de 5 segundos le di una breve, y completamente innecesaria, explicación a todos de como eran mis partes privadas sin querer. AWKWARD. Me disculpe entre risas por mi mala traducción. “No te preocupes, nos hiciste el día” me contestaron y continuamos con la audición. Mientras me despedía al finalizar me di cuenta que sus caras de aborrecidos habían desaparecidos. ¿MISSION CUMPLIDA? ¡Tanto para una buena impresión! Estoy segura que nunca me olvidaran, aunque probablemente por las razones equivocadas.

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This week I finally started my acting classes. The first thing that we were taught was the importance of first impressions with casting directors. Yesterday, I had a commercial audition where I had to wear a plain t-shirt, short shorts and flat boots. It was a great opportunity to put into practice my first day’s worth of acting knowledge.

 My boots clacked against the marble floor as I entered the waiting room and walked over to the sign up sheet. I didn’t realize how noisy I’d been until I noticed everyone in the room staring at me. In that uncomfortable silence, I smiled at everyone trying to apologize for breaking whatever concentration you can actually have for a commercial audition. I tiptoed over to an empty chair and waited patiently for my turn. “Mariana Vicente!” someone yelled. I “clacked” my way to the audition room as I felt a hole in my forehead from all the burning eyes staring at me. Inside, the casting director, the director for the commercial, and the producers sat in a couch either completely bored with the casting process, or unsatisfied with the people auditioning so far. I was given a quick explanation of what I was supposed to do. It was a piece of cake. Just walk over from one side of the room to the other, sit on a chair, and put my legs up on the table. Then came the warning. “Be careful when you put your legs up, we don’t want to see your crotch.” (Apparently it was a problem that a lot of the models with short shorts were having.) 

I immediately thought, “That shouldn’t be a problem for me because my shorts are really tight around my thighs. That’s what I thought, unfortunately the only thing that came out of my mouth was, “Don’t worry, it’s very tight!” as I innocently pointed to my thighs. BOOM. The entire room burst into a fit of laughter I was not ready for. It felt like the complete opposite of bombing when you’re trying to tell a joke that doesn’t work at an open mic. This time, however, I said something apparently so clever, that I was killing! But I had no clue what it was! I froze time (Saved by the Bell style) and forced my brain to replay the last moments leading up to the hilarious punch line. Ok, so she said “…we don’t want to see your crotch” that was fine, then I thought about my pants being tight, and I informed them of that, but wait… did I actually mention the word ‘pants’ in the sentence? No I didn’t, but I pointed at my… crotch. (Cue Sixth Sense soundtrack) So basically, I just gave them a brief and unnecessary description of my private parts… AWKWARD. I laughed and quickly apologized for the misunderstanding, but at that point it didn’t matter. “Don’t worry, you just made our day!” they replied as they settled back from manic laughter to auditioning mode. So much for first impressions! I’m pretty sure they’ll never forget me, I’m just not really sure it’ll be for all the right reasons.


4 comments:

  1. Ay Mari!!!!!
    Tu me has hecho sacar la carcajada de la vida en la oficina y todo el mundo mirando! AWKWARD!!!! jajaja

    Un beso! Love it!

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  2. lmaoooooooooo Thanks for sharing your experience!

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  3. Omg you just made my night. This is hilarious.

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  4. Aww you know what? I loooove you!!! It's been ages since I last laughed like today when I read what you said to the directors! hahahahaha love you and love you again!!! xD thanx for sharing! It says something about you... that you're truly a sincere, humble and cute girl! Please... Don't ever change! =)

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